“Can You Say It Again?”

Have you ever met someone who you thought was incredibly confident and had it all together and wondered, what is their secret? How can they be so sure of themselves?

I recently met a person who was just that. So when I heard her reply to a compliment with great appreciation saying, “did you just compliment me? Oh, thank you! Can you say it again?” I was surprised to hear she rarely received compliments. At the same time, her reply made me admire her even more.

I am not sure if every woman feels the same way as me. However, I know many women who I thought had it all together and then I feel found out that the inner critic gets to the best of them too.

In Joyce Landorf Heatherley’s book Balcony People, she describes people who lift others up as Balcony People and those who take others down as basement people.  She talks about how we even start taking the people closest to us for granted and forget to share all the things we appreciate about them.  We tend to look more at what we don’t have than do.  She also shares how those who give compliments or encourage others are typically healthier happier people themselves.  The best way to help ourselves is to help someone else.

Joyce’s book was a reminder to me of how much I have appreciated all the balcony people in my life.  People who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.  Or the times that compliment balanced out a critic I received that I was struggling to overcome. She reminded me that I was not alone.  That we all need balcony people.

The next time you meet a person, particularly a woman who you think has it all together, remember we are all human. Rather than trying to tear them apart to make your own self feel better, compliment them. Admit how they shine and inspire you!  When you choose to lift others up, their response of appreciation may lift you up too!


If you live in the Dayton, Ohio area, schedule free counseling by email: counseling@southbrook.org

To share inspiring stories or be referred to a Professional Counselor email: everythingforthesoul@gmail.com

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