Did you just take a job and wonder if you made the right decision? Are you struggling with what seems like insurmountable insecurity? Have you wanted to run back to your old employer and say, “Did I make a mistake? I would rather just stay in my position I knew rather than feeling like I am no good. I know I said I wanted to grow but I am now second-guessing my judgment.” Are you thinking, “I don’t think they interviewed me well enough before hiring me for this job?”
Besides all the new insecurities you may have started missing all of your old friends and teammates. You have realized how much that camaraderie means to you. You may be feeling want to tell them how much you miss each of them. Yet you feel like if you do, you will just sound weak. You wonder, “what if they don’t miss me as much as I miss them.” “What if the new person that replaced me is so much better than me and they realize how I wasn’t that great after all?”
Well, tell that voice to shut up. You are in the stage leadership training calls, “Conscience Incompetence” and that stage will pass. Remind yourself it is a normal stage when starting a new position. Think back at all the past positions you’ve held and remember you’ve felt this way in every one of them.
It is good you miss those old friends and colleagues as it shows you care for people. They may also miss you more than you realize. You will eventually excel in this new job and you are probably already better at it than you give yourself credit. Your new teammates haven’t even seen your best you yet so give them time. You will then have your old memories and friends and make new ones too!
Right now you are uncomfortable and guess what? That means you are growing! You are remembering what it is like to not be perfect and you will survive. Go ahead and let those old colleagues know how much you miss them. It may make them feel better knowing they are in your thoughts. It will even be more authentic than if you still worked there and praised them because you have nothing to gain now. You can let them know how their friendship is what you miss the most. It will help remind them to appreciate their current colleagues and no matter what challenges they are facing, in the end, it is our connections with other people that matter the most.
Keep taking one day at a time. Learn as much as you can and remind yourself to enjoy the feeling of the new experience. Remind yourself of the reasons why you took the position. If you can still check off those boxes, you are in the right place.
Melanie Simon
Become Fulfilled 