If you are found in a situation where you don’t want to be involved in a hurtful conversation and need to set boundaries on what that person is requesting of you, here are some techniques based on teachings from the lead counselor at Southbrook Church, Randy Creamer.
1) Don’t join in.
2) Stop repeating yourself.
3) Grow and own your stuff. Deal with old hurts. Forgive.
3) Identify the issue. “Mom keeps talking to me about Dad.”
4) Validate the person. Listen.
5) Love the person. Affirm the relationship.
6) Create a level playing field. Make the changes you need to make regardless if the other person’s changes or not.
7) Request change. Affirm the relationship but ask for the change.
8) Establish appropriate consequences.
9) Warn and then follow through.
10) Observe and evaluate.