Are you someone who gets so stuck in your own head? Have you gotten labeled as quiet? Have you ever thought about what you were going to say so long that by the time you decide to say it, the conversation has passed? Have you ever had a hard time initiating conversation?
Then most likely you are an introvert. The identification of an introvert is based on how a person recharges. They renew their energy by quiet time versus social settings. Often they do so much listening that the amount of stimulation they receive requires time to break from that listening. They can also be more observant as they are processing who they can trust. Most have minds full of vivid images and rapidly changing thoughts.
If you want to connect by becoming better at initiating conversation, first you need to get out of your own head and focus on the other person. Come up with questions that help understand them such as:
“What are you working on that excites you?”
“What do you love to do for fun?”
“What’s been the best part of your week?”
If you want to draw out someone who is an introvert, ask them open-ended questions that show you will make it safe to be who they are and have a true interest in them. Then stay patient as they gather their thoughts. You will see them blossom. Do not ask “why are you so quiet?” It is like asking someone who likes to talk, “why do you talk so much?”
Also, if you have a child who is quiet, don’t label them as “shy”. By doing so you have defined who they will be or what they will battle. Know that they are soaking up everything you are saying and processing a response.
Everyone has interesting stories. When we learn to understand one another and ourselves, the more we will find peace and connection.
Please share your challenges as an introvert by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org